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  • Last Comic Standing is The Comic Who Hasn’t Frozen To Death

    Since the Gotham Comedy Club opened we at the Chelsea Hotel have had to put up with vans and tractor trailers lined up from one end of the street to the other, blocking us in and cutting off our light and air.  But what the hell — we’re used to it from the film crews shooting at the hotel.   And I must admit the crowds waiting on line are a lot more orderly than those for the club that used to be in that space.

    But now, the comedians have taken to camping out on the street in front of the hotel!  There they were last night with blankets, chairs, the whole works waiting for their turn to audition.  Actually the clowns started assembling while it was still light.  It went down into the 20s last night, so I guess my only question is: is it worth freezing your silly ass off just to get up on stage and make a fool out of yourself for 2 minutes.  — Ed Hamilton

  • Room Service and Beyond

    At the Trump International on Columbus Circle you can get room service from Jean Georges for about $800 14room1902for a dinner for two, and a chef named Kyle will prepare it in your kitchenette since you wouldn’t want your toast to get cold on the trip up from the restaurant  (Bruni, NYT, March 14, 07).  Here at the Chelsea you can get egg sandwiches and coffee for about $6 from the Aristocrat, which Stanley Bard will be pleased to tell you is the best deli in New York.  They’ll deliver your cigs and beer too if you’re really lazy, so you can barricade yourself in your room and never come out—at least not until you kick that pesky drug habit.  Though it’s true this place has been gentrified of late, we’re still struggling to keep it real here at the Chelsea.  At The London NYC, your room service will be staggered; here your delivery man will be staggering. — Ed Hamilton

  • The Cruel Message of New York

    There was a toothless old man, probably a former junkie, staying in the transient room next door.  I ran into him coming out of the shared bathroom late at night.  “Where you visiting from,” I asked, stupidly.

    “I’m not visiting from nowhere,” he said.  “I’m from New York.  Brooklyn, New York.”

                “How you like the Chelsea?”

                “I’m paying $125 a night!  Can you believe that?  And I’m not getting any heat!  That’s wrong, that’s illegal and that’s dangerous!” he raved.

                “Yeah, that sucks,” I said.  $125 a night was the lowest rate I’d heard in awhile, however.  I guess they know they couldn’t get any more out of him.

                “How, about you, what you paying?” he asked.

                I told him.

                “Man, you’re fucking crazy!  Oh, but I guess you’re not from around here, are you.”

                “No, I’m from Kentucky.”

                “Oh, a rube, eh?” he said, jokingly.  “Listen, my friend, they’re taking you for a ride.  You can get an apartment for much less than that.”

                “Yeah, I know.  But I kind of like it here.”

                “Hey, to each his own.  You getting any heat in your room?”

                “No, not much,” I said.

                “Oh, OK,” the old man said, relieved, “I thought it was special for me.”

                “No, I don’t think so.  Nobody gets any.”

                “I thought they were trying to send me a message,” he said.

                Yeah, like, get out while the gettings good.  Leave while you still have a chance.  But of course that’s the same message they’re sending everybody. You don’t have to be a paranoid former junkie to see that.

    Ed Hamilton

  • Tenant Activist Challenges Gut Renovation Loophole

    When I read the Voice article about Peckham on October 3, I was so outraged that I knew I had to do something. The result can be found in this week’s Chelsea Now.
         Going into the job, I figured that Peckham would be kind of a crank and a nut job—because how else to explain the Voice’s scurrilous attack.  I was prepared to argue that, hey, what matters are his rights, not whether you like him personally.  So I was pleasantly surprised when I found that Peckham was actually a nice guy—albeit one under an immense amount of stress and strain due to the fact of his building being torn down around him.  He has chosen to fight, rather than to knuckle under like most of us would, and for that he deserves the greatest respect.  His case is important because it challenges the use of the gut renovation loophole in the demolition provision.  The so called “phony demolition” allows landlords to toss rent-stablized tenants out of their apartments. 
         Which makes the Voice hatchet job all the more puzzling.  That the paper has been going downhill for several years now is no secret, but until that article it had always maintained some pretense of being an objective newspaper.  The author of the piece in question, Kristen Lombardi, blames it on her editor, David Blum, saying he was tired of “poor tenant” stories and so directed her to write a “poor landlord” story instead.  Well, Blum got what he deserved, ignominiously canned from the Voice. 
    For the sake of affordable housing in New York let’s all hope Peckham wins his case. — Ed Hamilton       

  • All Tomorrow’s Parties: March 19 – 25, 2007

    312119098_466e51d264_mWednesday, March 21,
    It’s the first day of Spring. The Shake Shack reopens.  Enough said.   Be the first in line.
    Shake Shack, Madison Square Park, 23rd Street at Fifth Avenue, NY NY

    Thursday, March 22, 10:30 p.m.
    Kino_front Susanne Bartsch and Kenny Kenny say goodbye to Tuesday and hello to Thursday with Kino 41. Kino 41 starlets: Amanda Leopore, Lady Fag, Moondust, Furey and Andre J. Cine Sounds: Sammy Jo & Show:  fashion presentation for marco hall and show by Andre J .  Life is Like a Movie. Stop by every Thursday for your close up.
    135 West 41st, NY NY


    Friday, March 23, 11:00 – 5:00
    Leonard Barton, son of Irene Zevon, has re-opened the Bravura Gallery after a short hiatus with an exhibit of works on paper.  The 7331 group show includes art by his mother and his step-father, Russian painter, Nahum Tschacbasov.  The show runs throug April, 2, 2007.  Later this year, the gallery will dedicate an exhibit to Zevon’s work.   (Photo: Big Fish Eat Little Fish by Nahum Tschacbasov (color etching), Final state (1947). NYC, Metropolitan Museum of Art.)

    The Bravura Gallery, 22 Nugent Street, Southhampton

    Saturday, March 24, 11:00 – 6:00 p.m.
    Kielar02sm The Daniel Reich Gallery has a show of new works by Anya Kielar titled Lady.  Our neighbor across the way, James Wagner, really appreciated Kielar’s work which was part of the Armory show. Lady runs through April 14. (Photo: Daniel Reich website)
    Daniel Reich Gallery, 537 A, West 23rd St., NY NY

    If you have an event appropriate for "All Tomorrow’s Parties" send an e-mail to chelblog@yahoo.com

  • The Sights and Scenes of Harry Smith

    Several of Harry Smith’s films are being screened today at the Anthology Film Archives. You may want Harrysmith_1 to check out MAHAGONNY, which will be shown at 7:00 p.m. Much of the film was shot at the Chelsea Hotel.

    From the Archives’ website, "Smith worked obsessively on MAHAGONNY for over ten years, shooting it from 1970-72 and editing it from 1972-80. Based on the Kurt Weill and Bertolt Brecht opera RISE AND FALL OF THE CITY OF MAHAGONNY, the film was an epic, four-screen projection which the filmmaker considered to be his magnum opus and described as a mathematical analysis of Marcel Duchamp’s "Large Glass."
    MAHAGONNY is an allegory of contemporary life; it explores the needs and desires of man amid the rituals of daily life in New York City. Smith’s New York, like Brecht’s Mahagonny, is a place where everything is permitted and the only sin is not having enough money. Much of the film takes place within the Chelsea Hotel and contains invaluable portraits of important scenesters such as Allen Ginsberg, Patti Smith and Jonas Mekas. These appearances are intercut with installation pieces from Robert Mapplethorpe’s studio, New York City landmarks of the era, and Smith’s unique, visionary animation.
    This 35mm print represents the completion of an ambitious preservation project by Anthology Film Archives and The Harry Smith Archives. The film was originally shown ten times at Anthology in 1980 on four 16mm projectors with the filmmaker present at each screening. This recently restored print is a composite of all four original 16mm masters (and the Weill soundtrack) that have been optically printed into a single "tiled" 35mm film image."

    Read more about Harry Smith:
    Harry and the Zombie

  • St. Patrick’s Day with George Chemeche

    BEWARE OF AN IRISH LOVER

    To cheer up my Irish lover,
    I offered a night of booze and laughter,
    which the bottle sucker approved without dispute.
    True to my solemn word,

    I booked our adventure in the Russian Tea Room.
    A reckless move, too fancy for a poor spender like me.
    My Irish flower, aroused by caviar and red ambiance,
    tippled three double-gins at the speed of an eye wink.
    My wallet had seen better days after I honored the bill.

    To keep our romance alive, we took a limo ride
    through Manhattan’s traffic lights.
    Tickled by the limo’s stocked up bar, my thirsty date,
    Wasted no time to recycle its contents into a shikker waste.
    My nerves stretched to the limit whenever the smart chauffeur
    smiled at the mirror. I could see the bankruptcy smiling at me.

    Dempsey’s Pub is an Irish tavern where the Irish drink
    till double they see. I took her word and joined the roaring crowd
    Alas, she was too merry to count the rounds.
    I felt drowsy and worn out, a junior Boy Scout among jubilant ex-patriots.

    Tavern on the Green is a class shrine amid all-year sparkling trees.
    The price is right, if you’re Getty or Rothschild.
    Kindled by the gleaming bottles, meticulously lined to shine on her face, 
    she toasted three to life and drummed four rums for the road.
    I snapped one schnapps to redeem my shattered dreams.

    Dead drunk, my cheerful gal, at last,
    kept mumbling the same old schmaltz,
    "The best things in life are free."
    Are you telling me?!

    Copyright 2007 George Chemeche

  • A Mystery Worthy of Agatha Christie

    Sad news.  It appears that yet another of the Chelsea’s tormented creative souls has shed its mortal Skel1 coil.  Yes, that’s a skeleton on the roof of the Synagogue next to the hotel.  Judging by its advanced state of decomposition I would say that the owner of the corpse must have jumped – or been pushed – from one of the upper levels of the fire escape months ago.  Though its strange that no one would have seen – or smelled – the putrefying remains until now, this can perhaps be accounted for by the thawing of the winter’s frost.  On the other hand, then the body wouldn’t have rotted so fully.  A truly puzzling case.  Call in Hercule Poirot.  Equally mysterious is the fact that the skeleton appears to lack a skull.  Perhaps the body was decapitated by the chain-link fence and the head bounced in somebody’s window – and under their bed, where their cat feasted on it for weeks.

    Are there any bohemians unaccounted for? — Ed Hamilton

  • Rene Ricard’s Exhibit Postponed

    Rene Ricard has informed us that his exhibit, which was scheduled to open on Friday, March 16, has been postponed.  He hopes to announce a new date shortly. 

  • Joe Bidewell Jams With Nico

    Nnashvillebandlrg_1 After we wrote about the BBC Chelsea Hotel documentary last week, Joe Bidewell (he’s the guy jamming behind Nico in the film) wrote to give us a a few behind the scenes details. Here’s his letter: (Photo: Joe is in the center)

    Yes, that is me playing ‘chelsea girls’ w/ nico.  I’m strumming my then-new ’79 strat through an mxr distortion box and a small amp. I still like the sound of that particular recording.  Nico’s performance is spot-on, in my opinion.  We rehearsed for that taping in my room # 332.  The bbc filmed us in a bigger, nicer suite on another floor in the hotel.

    The scene where Burroughs and Warhol are eating dinner, with the fellow reporting details to the camera at the door – nice editing, bbc.  That British crew literally moved in and lived at the Chelsea for weeks, maybe longer – a month or two – just to shoot all the footage, and to get it right.

    They seemed to really enjoy themselves.  It was fun having them around.  Some of the crew came to one of my performances at a club called s.n.a.f.u., just around the corner from the Chelsea.  It was owned by lou tatoo, and the walls were adorned w/ Robert Mapplethorpe prints.  Quentin Crisp did a sort of performance/reading @ s.n.a.f.u. around that time as well.

    I’m happy my song ‘dream hotel’ (inspired by the Chelsea made the final cut.  I miss the Chelsea, of course. Hello to Stanley, David, Jerry and everyone.  Joe Bidewell