We haven‘t seen hide nor hair of Chelsea Hotel layabout/board member David Elder in about a week. Here’s what happened. For all of these years Sid Vicious’ ghost has remained content to play games such as stopping the elevators on the first floor and holding the door open. If he’s feeling really spiteful he’ll make the elevator stop on every floor while he jumps off to go looking for Nancy. And Nancy’s ghost, as far as we know, has simply been bidding her time until she was summoned by Sid. But apparently something of cosmic significance must have happened in this building last Monday which allowed the ghosts of Sid & Nancy to reunite and run David Elder out of the hotel.
Anybody who we’ve ever talked to who knew Nancy says that she could be a real bitch, so just imagine what her ghost would be like. She’s been laying in wait in that bathroom for two months listening to David Elder’s scheming to screw over the Bard family and Piri Thomas. All of those prank phone calls that Ol’ Snake Eyes was getting at 3:00 in the morning was pissing her off too. She didn’t mind the dead fish head that somebody left outside Elder’s door so much, but apparently she stepped in the dog poop and that really set her off.
Posing as Elder’s girlfriend, the succubus Nancy came to him in bed one night promising to fulfill all of his deepest darkest desires. Unfortunately, David was too unimaginative to come up with any, so Nancy pulled the hunting knife from her gut and chased him naked and screaming down the hall. Sid, hanging out in the hall, was last heard screaming, “At least bring me back a pack of fucking cigarettes you wanker!” The shaken Elder sent the bellman up to retrieve his belongings and to mollify Sid with a carton of smokes.
Some of the more skeptical among you may say that, no, actually all that’s happened is that David Elder has hopped on a plane back to LA, where the judge is scheduled to rule if he is fit to administer Piri Thomas’ trust (The judge will also decide if David Elder is fit to walk among humans.). — Ed Hamilton
Living with Legends 
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