Living with Legends

“I knew it would be difficult, but not to this degree,” whines Andrew Tilley in last Sunday’s Independent.  “It’s been ridiculous.”  The hotel is hemorrhaging money, as reservations are down a reported 30 to 40 percent over this time last year.  This is not due solely to the economy, as Tilley would have us believe, but is also attributable to the management’s incompetence, as, reportedly, the hotel’s internet reservation server was inexplicably turned off for several months at the end of last year!  Tilley reportedly called in a team of experts to figure out why reservations were down—costing the hotel even more money—and that was what they concluded!  Well, at least somebody is earning their pay.

In addition, vigilant tenants have shut down Tilley’s illegal renovation program.  The Department of Buildings placed a stop work order on the entire building, which Tilley then blithely attempted to ignore.  The police were promptly summoned and the responding NYPD officers said they would be taking management personnel out of here in handcuffs if the stop work order were defied again.  Yeah, they take these things seriously, Tilley.  In the Independent article, Tilley sounds a familiar theme, attempting to blame the shutdown of his renovation program on that old standby, the economy:

. . .there is every chance that financial strictures – not protests or nostalgia – will end up putting any serious overhaul of the Chelsea Hotel on hold. "I think obtaining bank loans now is not going to be the easiest thing," Tilley – who may instead have to be satisfied with updating individual rooms piecemeal and biding his time for the more far-reaching work – concedes.

     Yeah, he’s right: neither Marlene nor any sort of reputable bank is going to give him a cent.  But even if the economy were good the banks wouldn’t give him money, not with all the outstanding building code violations, not to mention the 40 or more outstanding tenant lawsuits in the courts, or the half-million dollar suit by BD Hotels.  And even if Tilley somehow gets the money, he can’t do any construction until he gets a Certificate of No Harassment—difficult to obtain when tenants are being harassed.  And all he was attempting to do anyway was “piecemeal” construction on individual rooms, until “protests and nostalgia” shut him down. 
        On top of these intolerable work conditions, Tilley apparently has lots of stress at home as well.  Somebody sent his wife 79 magazine subscriptions, and, as if that were not enough, a pair of women’s panties.  I assume Mrs. Tilley is also a blog and newspaper reader, and has to witness her husband’s name being dragged almost daily through the mud.  I imagine that does make things a bit tense around the dinner table.  But let me ask you, Mrs. Tilley: do you think it’s pleasant for us to live at the Chelsea Hotel now?  Marlene and Elder, BD Hotels, and now your husband and his cronies are making our lives a living hell.  The Chelsea Hotel is OUR HOME.  Your husband can go home to New Jersey and kick back in his recliner and watch Dancing with the Stars, but WE HAVE TO LIVE HERE.  So forgive me if I’m rather short on sympathy when I hear that Andrew might need an extra gin and tonic in order to get to sleep at night.  Tell your husband it’s not worth it, Mrs. Tilley. 
         In the Independent, Tilley says, “Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t have touched this place with a bargepole.”  Normal circumstances?  What, pray tell, are those?  If you could have gotten another job?  If you had had enough sense to Google the Chelsea Hotel and find out a little bit about the struggle that was going on here?  If Marlene hadn’t reportedly offered you a whopping half-mill a year (salary plus bonuses)?  In addition to all the problems you’re having with residents, I’m sure you must hate Marlene Krauss, since virtually every sentient being on earth prays for her death.  And as for Elder, I can’t imagine it’s any picnic sharing an office with the cretin—not to mention actually having to take orders from him!!!  If you didn’t really want the job in the first place, and you don’t enjoy it, and you’re under so much stress, why not resign?  Take the money and run.  We won’t hold it against you.  This is our fight, and it can go on just as easily without you.  Pretend that “normal circumstances” now prevail, take hold of that metaphorical bargepole, and push yourself off from this sinking ship. — Ed Hamilton