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Club Med for Rats

Reportedly BD Hotels plan to open a spa in the basement of the hotel.  We hope this will replace Star Lounge which genuinely needs replacing with something or the other.   We think however that the spa is Deanesmayrats_front intended to complement Star Lounge.  It will be a place where the millionaires can recharge their batteries after a night of hard partying at Star Lounge.  I suppose they think they will be able to stumble upstairs and flop out at the hotel in between but we intend to do our best to make sure that such a revolting development never eventuates.   Aren’t there enough places where these vein and deluded wastrels can be parted from their money on the dubious promise that their misspent youth can be rejuvenated? 

As AHCB # 3’s medium reported to us earlier an elemental spirit has long made its residence in the Chelsea Hotel’s basement.  We feel fairly certain it is already pissed off by being kept awake by the insipid dance music being blasted at all hours in Star Lounge.  We hope that this will prove to be the last straw.  Hopefully when it sucks the rich layabouts with their cucumber eye patches and mud pack facials down the cosmic sewer hole into Hell the rest of the building will remain standing.  And it will be simply as if we have flushed a toilet beneath the withered bum of our superannuated dowager of 23rd Street. — Ed Hamilton

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11 responses to “Club Med for Rats”

  1. Avatar
    Anonymous

    In the “basement” of the hotel? You mean, where storage, laundry, and other maintenance is located??? Wouldn’t that be more appropriate for one of the storefront properties, not that a spa is needed as there seem to be a few in the area already?

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  2. The Ghosts Avatar
    The Ghosts

    They’re moneygrubbing liars with no taste and no sense of art or decency or the spirit of the chelsea hotel. A pox on both their houses.
    Marle, David E., I will haunt you in your dreams, your nightmares. Your waking steps will be dogged by the ghosts of the chelsea hotel. You will find no rest until justice is done and the Bards are restored to their rightful place as managers of the chelsea hotel.

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  3. Just a Thought Avatar
    Just a Thought

    Now might be the time for David Elder (and the eminence grise, Marlene Krauss) to make a genuine gesture of goodwill, to show their humanity, and that they are truly open-minded and truly appreciate what the Chelsea is, and not merely functionaries of greed and vanity who would sacrifice the extraordinarily special Chelsea Hotel and the Bards on the altar of their greed and vanity.
    A heartfelt gesture is called for on their part. It’s the only way to ensure a graceful exit for them when destiny moves them on. We can be very kind, and we are people who prefer kindness. But they have to make a true effort to know the residents and understand the hotel. We know it infinitely better than they do.
    Are you up to it, David and Marlene?

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  4. Erica Avatar
    Erica

    Finally cleaning up the hotel and managing it well would be a bad thing? That’s just so stupid. No more rats, roaches and general grime? Sounds pretty darn good to me….

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  5. The Ghosts Avatar
    The Ghosts

    Marlene… I mean, Erica, dear, you are the stupid one I’m sorry to say. Clearly, you know, or care, nothing about the illustrious artistic history of the hotel. First, I haven’t seen a rat there in many years. Second, the place has already been cleaned up and renovated in a way that didn’t alter the ethos of the hotel. If all they were going to do was a little extra clean-up,and then leave fine, but as we’ve seen, they are making some deep and un-Chelsea-like changes, starting with the removal of Stanley Bard as manager, done in a nasty way that showed they did not appreciate him nor the place and its history. The Chelsea is a very, very special place that thrived because it wasn’t a starchy, corporate place with a lot of rules and anal retention. It was a human place. Now, take your boring middle-American conformist morality out of here.

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  6. chelsearez Avatar
    chelsearez

    Erica: The argument that they are just here to clean up the place and fix the infrastructure doesn’t wash. It’s PR. The hotel was well-managed by the way. It was managed in a way that attracted wave after wave of great artists. Your definition of well-managed is obviously different. For what you want, please check into a Holiday Inn.
    I saw more roaches at the Plaza hotel. Where is this grime everyone’s talking about. I haven’t seen a rat in the hotel since that club kid’s boa constrictor escaped. Have they found that snake yet?

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  7. Betty Bishop Avatar
    Betty Bishop

    and I lived at the Chelsea in 1992/93 – before it was supposedly cleaned up and beautified. I swear I NEVER EVER saw a roach despite the fact that I cooked in my “studio”. I saw them every night at the Algonquin [not that I don’t love the Algonquin – I do!] but New York is New York. In my books The Chelsea was “funky” on a good day and “seedy” on a bad day. Will “those people” be having the dog’s Birthday Party in September – Hey! I am invited to that party – every year forever and ever.

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  8. FTOT Avatar
    FTOT

    Oh, the dog birthday party! So wonderful. One of so many warm and quirky things at the hotel.

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  9. Just a Thought Avatar
    Just a Thought

    After reading today’s piece in the Observer, I don’t think there’s much hope of Marlene Krauss and David Elder making any sort of goodwill gesture. Krauss in only concerned with making the hotel into what SHE wants so she can pass it on to her children. Elder is apparently hiding out, awaiting his august 6th court date in LA regarding Piri Thomas. These people are too NASTY to even negotiate with.

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  10. Yup Avatar
    Yup

    I don’t think they’ve caught the snake yet. Weren’t there two snakes? The club kids also had a four foot iguana that escaped one winter and made its way onto a friend’s terrace. Those club kids are gone but the snake remains AFAIK.

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  11. Omaha high razz (seven stud. Avatar
    Omaha high razz (seven stud.

    Omaha high razz (seven stud.

    Omaha high razz (seven stud.

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